Here’s a novel if ya feelin’ frisky...
To be fully transparent, I struggle a lot in my day-to-day with imposter syndrome, as do most artists and creatives of any medium whether it be music, movement, or another form of media. It took me YEARS to finally muster up the courage to go through yoga teacher training. I would cycle through every excuse I could possibly think of (i.e. “you’re not good enough, you can’t do a handstand (LOL), people won’t take you seriously, why would you think you are capable enough to lead a group of people, etc.) I’ve always felt an intense urge to be open and share my story freely with the hopes of inspiring and uplifting others. I aim to put myself out there in the most raw, unfiltered form so people feel safe to let their guard down. But it’s tricky... creativity is conceived in vulnerable spaces. As soon as you put your creation out there on display, it’s fair game for the external critics to pick a part. All of a sudden, that sensitive space within you can feel like it’s under attack. It can make you second guess yourself and back peddle on everything you’ve built. I know I have the knowledge and experience to hold space for people in a proactive way, but sometimes I wonder if I am worthy enough to take up that sacred space in someone’s healing journey. I’m always thinking “if I’m going to lead a room full of people from all walks of life and all sorts of trauma, I MUST have all my shit together.” What I seem to forget in those moments is that bulldozing over my natural abilities and intuition with worry and doubt is cannibalizing my own life purpose. It becomes crystal clear - I am my own worst enemy. Here’s the plot twist: NO ONE HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER. And guess what? That’s okay!! The underlying theme of human existence as a whole is absolute chaos. But chaos isn’t a bad thing... it’s beautiful. It’s raw. It’s vulnerable. It keeps us looking forward into the unknown. It keeps our views of life ever-evolving. Most importantly, it teaches us to not take life too seriously. Aside from advancing my yoga practice and learning to effectively teach a room of people, THAT is the most valuable lesson I learned from my yoga teacher training. Chaos is inevitable... but you don’t have to give it credibility if it doesn’t deserve it. You must learn to look for the magic in everyday moments and the magic will live inside of you.
So if you’re still with me in this novel of a caption, LISTEN UP. If you’ve been feeling called to follow your passions but you’re being held back by your own self-doubt... know that YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE CAPABLE. There will be people who doubt you and make you second guess yourself but you will always be left with a choice that is 10000% up to you - evolve or remain.
I am so honored to co-lead our upcoming 200hr yoga teacher training summer intensive at Super Yoga Palace. Training starts June 3rd and there’s still a few spots left! If you’re ready to find your why, gain new skills, deepen your practice and empower your inner healer, let’s connect
🖤 Leigha Oldham